I have never been a big camping, woodsy type guy. Wild animals kinda freak me out truthfully. I think they hate us for invading their space and ruining their habitat. I felt safer driving a cab in the shaky streets of East Hollywood or tripping around in Detroit's meanest hoods than I did in them spooky woods. Somehow the human animal is more predictable.

I have only tent camped twice. Once in Oregon where bears were running around my camp site all night long, and another time in Washington during elk rutting season. Having two huge elk going at it right outside your tent was even spookier than the bears. Those things are huge!

The VW van made me feel more secure, and I took that on many a camping trip. It was actually quite civilized and it felt good to have some sheet metal between me and the wild beasties. One time camping in Northern California I was attacked by raccoons. A whole gang came into my camp at night and tore it to pieces. They showed no fear and I could not even chase them off. I got scared thinking maybe they were rabid and locked myself in my van all night.

I will leave the rest of how I feel about wild animals to the Talking Heads....

"They say they don't need money

They're living on nuts and berries

They say animals don't worry

You know animals are hairy?

They think they know what's best

They're making a fool of us

They ought to be more careful

They're setting a bad example

They have untroubled lives

They think everything's nice

They like to laugh at people

They're setting a bad example

(go ahead) laugh at me."


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