Actually I am a pretty happy agnostic. Just admitting I don't know is the only honest answer I can come up with. Any other and I would be lying. Atheism doesn't work for me any better than religion. Both take a measure of faith I don't possess. The spectrum of my five senses is way too limited for me to know anything really. I do have some theories though.

The very first thing I do every morning, and have for the past 35 years, is turn on my tortoise's heat lamp(Sun) and give him a plate of lettuce(manna from heaven). After Urtles eats and suns for a couple of hours he goes to the corner of his luxurious habitat and scratches to get out. I pick him up and Urtles is free to roam the house for the day until I put him back in his habitat. The majority of that time will be spent fucking an old clog I have provided him(Eve) until he is tired and crawls under my bed, where I gather him up at the end of the night and whisk him back home, safe an sound. As Gods go, I'm not half bad. No floods or wiping out humanity because I got up on the wrong side of bed. I am not a jealous or loving God, just a lazy one.

Now I suppose if Urtles was a turtle scientist he would have come up with all kinds of scientific theories on the world he lives in and how it works. He knows through countless experiments that if he goes to one particular corner of his habitat and scratches he gets to go outside. On the other hand, Urtles may look to me as a God, providing for him if he goes through certain rituals. That is probably closer to the truth, but not 100% accurate either. Urtles can only be aware of so much because of his limited sensual perception, and I have a suspicion mine is not much better in the total scheme of things.

Hence my theory. I have a suspicion I am some alien kid's pet or Sims' Game. That would work both scientifically and spiritually. I am pretty sure we aren't at the top of the heap. As that famous pedophile Bob Dylan once said, "You're gonna have to serve somebody."